Father's Day Special

Dad, Father, Tatay, Amang, Papa, Pops, Papi, Ama...

 

Its their day today!
Heads up to all the fathers out there! 

They say that a FATHER is a daughter's First Love;
Their children's first HERO; 
A wife's Life Partner;
ANG HALIGI NG TAHANAN.       


"Growing up I didn't have the chance to look up to my own dad, BUT I did have someone whom I could look up to, respect and love"
http://instagram.com/p/amhRvDy3hr/ 

The man on the left is my Grandfather, the late  ALFREDO A. MON SR.

He's the man who has an undeniably contagious laugh and adorable in his little ways. 

He loves his grandchildren equally and most of all, my grandmother. 

When we lost him, we didn't just lose a grandfather- but we lost a FATHER. 

As I was posting that picture on Instagram, and as I was thinking about my late grandfather, it made me think about my own father. 


Honestly, whenever I think of my dad, all I could think of is HATRED. 
I hated him too much that I can't even remember if there was ever a time where I didn't.
Simply because at a very young age, I built my WALL OF HATE upon learning my Dad's wrong doings.

All I could remember is the PAIN.
Because a father is supposed to protect his family, keep it intact, not tear it apart.      

I could go on and on about the flaws and wrong doings of my dad, on which I have been doing since what? Almost all my life. 

But this time I wont. I'll stop today.  

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I created this blog to share my adventure towards becoming the best i can be. 
CHANGE IS A LIFETIME PROCESS. 
And I had to go through-am going through-and will go through a lot of things to know everything that I do today and will do in the future. 


Earlier this year, I have been doing a lot of thinking. 
And this day in particular was a homerun. 

I re-evaluated myself this morning, looked at my roots, where I got the values that I live by, the manners, gestures, everything. 
And to my surprise, I actually did learn something from my Dad. 
The values/teaching that I strongly live by everyday. 

TO EAT ANYTHING THAT IS SERVED TO YOU. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS ALL YOU HAVE.

I don't have a lot of memories with my Dad, but there's this one evening at dinner where I learned that particular values/teaching.
He don't usually saw wise words like that. But at that time, his words hit me. And from then on, I lived by those words. 

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Like what I said,I have learned a lot. 
I am now able to see in different perspectives. 
I experienced things similar in away that my Dad did. 
I made a lot of thinking and came into the conclusion that
I DON'T HATE HIM. I HATE WHAT HE DID. 

To make the long story short, I actually understand him.
I actually know what he has been going through all his life. 

If only I knew what I know today, could I have helped save our family? 
If only I saw both sides of the story, what could have happened?


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Pa, 
If ever you come across this blog, forgive me. For not giving you the chance to become a father to me. For pushing you too far that you lost sight of hope. For making you feel that there is no hope left for you. For all the things I said. 
I hope one day you wake up and decide to become better than what you've been all your life. A CHANGED MAN. 
I hope you DO change. May be not for me, your children, your new wife, your falimy, BUT FOR YOURSELF. 
You know we did our best to help you. I hope one day you wake up and finally decide to help yourself. 
If you look around and see nobody, if you see them looking at you the same way that they have been all your life, just look up. 
GOD SEES THE GOOD IN YOU. 
If you think you've lost everything, always remember that GOD WILL NOT TAKE AWAY SOMETHING THAT IS REALLY MEANT FOR YOU. BUT WHEN HE DOES, HE WILL SOON RETURN IT-BY THE TIME YOU ARE PREPARED TO HANDLE IT RIGHT.  
Pa, you lost us years ago. maybe lost yourself as well. 
We gave up on you, but God never did. 

I hope one day you look at yourself in the mirror and see a changed man. 
A man not even you ever thought you could be. 

When that time comes, collect all the courage you have and show us. 
You may not win us back. But at least you've won the best gift you could ever give yourself. CHANGING FOR THE BETTER.