THE LOVE THAT WAS NEVER ENOUGH

I have been doubting love for as long as I can remember. 

I was once a victim of that so called ‘love’.

Gave too much and received a little.

Loved too deep and fell too hard.

I was a witness to a true love that wasn’t enough.

They loved each other, but love alone couldn’t keep them together.

They were hurt too much and sacrificed a lot.

But sadly, the love they thought would last, ended bitterly.

When they met, they knew next to each other was what they wanted.

They believed in forever and made a vow.

For better or for worse.

But death didn’t do them apart.

Love was never enough, but they tried.

And tried

And tried

They tried until there was nothing left to fight for.

They knew they loved each other,

But they needed to let go.

They loved each other so much they had to let each other go

To save the other from all the pain

It was for the best.

Maybe one day they’ll meet somewhere,

Maybe in a place they used to go to,

Maybe by accident, or by fate.

Maybe someday they can look at each other and smile.

Maybe they can have coffee together and talk like old friends.

Maybe not to start over, but to thank each other for letting go.

For loving each other truly even if it means that they’ll be happier apart.

MORE THAN FRIENDS

He made me believe we had a chance.

We were so good together.

We clicked, no awkward silence, no hesitations.

Basketball was his passion. And I admired him for that.

He played ball, worked hard and sold shoes.

I studied, sold pastries and graduated.

Business was in our minds.

We often talk about opening up our own businesses.

We stayed up until the sun rises just talking about anything and everything under the sun.

We enjoyed our little group and drinking sessions.

We smoked, ate, kissed as we bid each other goodnight.

We go out at midnight and lay side by side.

Felt our bodies as we intertwined.

We sneak out and make excuses just to be together.

He was the guy who didn’t change even after being more than friends.

He was the guy I have been looking for all this time.

He wasn’t perfect. Nor was I.

Like me, he had a dark past.

So who was I to judge him?

I accepted who he was for what’s important is who he is right now.

We both have gone through hell in our pasts.

But that’s the thing about pasts, it prepared us for something better, and that was us.

If we didn’t go through what we have gone through, we wouldn’t have found each other and matched.

We weren’t looking for love. None expected all of this.

We were just two people, who found each other.

Not two halves that make a whole, but two wholes, making a bigger whole.

We complimented each other in a way that makes everything better.

We could have been perfect for each other.

Together we could’ve built an empire.

We were a match. Maybe that’s why we burn out.

We enjoyed each other until it became complicated.

We were at a point where we needed to make a conclusion to whether we’ll go further or not.

We were both confused as to where we stood in each other’s lives.

None would have the courage to take the relationship further.

We left it at “more than friends”.

We made each other believe we had a chance.

That’s where running became my everything, my excuse, my distraction.

It was my escape from the pain of what might have been.