For someone who was
in an abusive relationship, opening up to another would be difficult. The heart
can only take so much pain, and the thought of going through it all over again is
simply devastating. Fear will be your enemy. So in turn, you’ll push away
anyone who could possibly care or want to be with you. Thinking that you can do
without a man, with which you have been doing for the past two years. You are a
strong, independent woman. You’ve pulled yourself together, fixed the broken
pieces. You fixed your relationship with your family, focused on your studies,
found a new hobby, and started a business with your best friend, the list goes
on. But you can honestly admit that it gets lonely. There are nights when you
look at your cellphone to see if anybody (aside from your friends and family)
texted you. To the point where you don’t even bother to look at it at all,
because you know that there’s nothing to see. How does it make you feel? Lonely,
isn’t it? So what you did is you made yourself busier than you already are.
Forcing yourself to work beyond your limit, stressing on unnecessary
activities. You’ve been stagnant for too long that you realize that you are
living a pattern that you created. That pattern makes you forget about that one
thing that’s missing-a significant other. And when the time comes that you
realize that you are actually missing it, you pity yourself. Thinking that you
are undesirable, that nobody wants to be with you. Up to the point where you
let yourself go. You either eat or drink the pain away. During those pitiful nights,
have you ever thought of the guys who actually stopped by to say hi? Or those
old acquaintances who wanted to get to know you more? Or that guy who is
obviously into you for years but never really said anything? Have you ever
thought of those poor men you turned down ruthlessly? Those poor men who had
nothing to do with your last relationship. All they wanted was to get to know
you more. Because you ARE desirable. You may not see what they see, but there’s
definitely something that they saw in you. You were too blind from your own
pain that you didn’t even bother to think how it feels in the other end. You
would always make excuses that you’re “too busy” for a relationship. Or you
might get distracted. And to make your friends shut up, you’ll say that the “spark”
wasn’t there. How can there be a spark when you didn’t even try to light up the
firework? You didn’t give them a chance to love you. A chance to fill up that
void in your heart.
And what about that guy? Whom you met
during your summer escapade? That guy who felt something for you unexpectedly?
With neither of you doing any effort? That guy who is so eager to be with you,
goes crazy just thinking about you. That guy who will have the brightest smile
once he receives your text just to see that all you said was “k”. That guy
whom, for the first time in forever, gave you a little something that he made.
Especially for you. That guy who treats you like you are the most fragile thing
in the world. What did you do to him? Of course, like any other suitors you
had, you pushed him away. But he kept coming back. You were as cold as the north
pole but he managed to make fire and was still warm. How many times did you
reject him? And now that you actually prepared to open up your heart, now that
you’re ready, he isn’t there anymore. He got tired of waiting for you to let
him in your life. You took too long to realize that maybe, just maybe its time
for you to let someone fill that void in your heart. Now that he’s done, you
found yourself looking for him. Missing him. Now you realize that you were
unfair. Not only to That guy but to all the men you rejected. They had nothing
to do with your past relationship, they weren’t the one who hurt you. They came
to FIX you. To make you whole again. Let this be a lesson, you’re not too busy.
You CAN have time for a guy. You won’t get distracted, you just have to balance
your priorities. You can trust your heart again, just have faith. And if you’re
afraid of not loving them enough, don’t worry, if he truly loves you, he’ll
fill you up with love and in time, you’ll be able to love him as much as he
loves you.
